


Three AM

by dilige te ipsam (shiftynit)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, Freeform, M/M, Pre-Slash, WIP, not Scott friendly, sterek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 15:32:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7367344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiftynit/pseuds/dilige%20te%20ipsam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles needs someone to talk to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Ever since the Nogitsune, hell, since the Nemeton, Stiles had been unsettled. Like an itch under his skin and a tingling at the back of his neck like he was always being watched. Even in his own room with the door closed and curtains drawn, he still never felt alone. Like something just outside his periphery was biding it’s time, waiting for him to let his guard down and let them in. Sure, he put on a brave face for the world, but that was only because he was sick and tired of being asked if he was okay. He died in a ritual sacrifice and then was possessed by a murdering fix demon. Of course he wasn’t fucking okay. But everybody just expected him to bounce right back, be the smartass, wisecracking Stiles they had always known. But that Stiles died, literally. And what came back just wasn’t the same.

  
But nobody wanted to hear about that. Allison was dead, Scott was more Jesus-like than ever after also having risen from the dead, and Stiles … Stiles was broken. Yeah, logically, he knew it wasn’t his fault for all the people the Nogitsune hurt or killed, but he still felt guilty. He remembered doing those things, setting up the traps, stabbing Scott, all the horrible things the fox said. He had been buried by the demon’s will while it possessed him, but once it was gone, he remembered everything. He still felt blood on his hands, even after scrubbing them raw.

  
He couldn’t tell Scott, he just wouldn’t understand. They were still best friends, brothers, but it was like they were speaking two different languages lately.

  
He couldn’t tell his dad, even with their new honesty policy about all the supernatural shenanigans in town. His dad knew what had happened and that was plenty. He couldn’t worry him further with this. A small part of him had hoped that Eichen House would help. That somehow he might find answers there. But all he found was amphetamines and emptiness. Nothing got fixed in Eichen House. That’s just where the broken people were sent to be forgotten about. Out of sight, out of mind.

  
He and Lydia had gotten a lot closer lately, but not close enough for that. Not yet.

  
His finger hovered over the name in his phone. It was three am but he knew that wouldn’t matter. With the time difference he wasn’t even sure if it would be earlier or later, anyway. They had spent quite a bit of time together over the summer and he knew he could trust him implicitly, but he wasn’t entirely sure they were what you’d call friends, exactly. Nevertheless, He pressed the button and lifted the phone to his ear, listening to the crackling ring of long distance.

  
Two rings later a sleepy voice answered. “Stiles? Are you okay?”

  
“Derek … ” His voice broke, but he vowed not to let the tears fall, even as his breath quickened and his heart raced, the beginning of a panic attack threatening.

  
Derek closed his eyes, aching at the amount of distress in those two syllables. “Breathe with me. Come on.” He breathed slow and deep, listening for Stiles to follow suit. “That’s it. You’re doing good.”

  
Stiles was thankful for Derek’s calm instruction, matching his breaths to those a thousand miles away until he felt his heartbeat returning to normal. “Thanks, man. Sorry I woke you up.”

  
“Don’t worry about it. Is everything okay?”

  
“Just peachy,” he snorted derisively. “Can’t you tell?”

  
“Stiles.”

  
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know who else to call. I can’t … nobody else would understand. What it’s like to be a puppet for someone or something else. To feel guilty for things they did with my help. With my hands. Like I should just ‘get over it’ and ‘move on’. Like it’s that easy.”

  
Derek did understand, all too well. “You’re never going to get over it. Not completely. But it does get better eventually. It will always be a part of you, though. Like my blue eyes. You just learn to live with it. Because the alternative is worse.”

  
Stiles sighed and let the tears fall at last. “It hurts, Derek. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes …”

  
“It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

  
Stiles didn’t say anything else, but Derek didn’t hang up. They both lay in bed listening to the other breathe until Stiles eventually fell asleep. Only then did Derek disconnect the call.

 


	2. Four PM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written a chaptered fic before, but I figured I'd give it a shot.

Stiles awoke with the blaring of his alarm at way too early o'clock after less than four hours of sleep.  Though he was grateful to have slept at all after the near panic attack the night before.  He plugged in his phone to charge while he hopped into the shower to start another less than stellar day.

 

He wasn't quite sure how to feel about the phone call to Derek.  They weren't exactly close, and he wouldn't dare to call them friends, but they were more than just acquaintances.  They had saved each other's lives more than once, and he felt like he had garnered the man's respect, if nothing else.  But they weren't buddies who would hang out and chat.  Last night was the first time they had spoken to each other independent of any pack requirements.

 

They had spent a lot of time together the previous summer searching for Boyd and Erica and he knew that Derek valued his input in certain situations simply because he had a different way of looking at things.  Derek was born and raised as a wolf and sometimes he needed a human perspective to understand how and why a hunter might do things in a way a werewolf wouldn't.

 

But still, they weren't friends.  They never just called to talk about nothing.  They didn't hang out and watch baseball games together.  And yet Derek had answered right away and talked him down from the edge of panic.  That wasn't nothing.

 

His mind wandered over what it could mean, if anything, as he went about his day.  He put on the mask of playful buddy like everyone expected, and was once again disappointed but not surprised when no one seemed to notice anything amiss.

 

***

 

He couldn't sleep again that night, but the anxiety and panic wasn't as bad this time.  He found himself staring at his phone again, thumb hovering over Derek's name.  He didn't want to make a habit of late night phone calls, so he sent a text instead.  He wrote and discarded a dozen different messages before settling on one word.

 

_Thanks_

 

There was no immediate reply, but he hadn't expected any.  Just knowing the line of communication was open was enough for now.  He plugged in his phone and managed to fall asleep on his own.

 

He awoke to a one word reply, but it was enough to make him smile.

 

**_Anytime_ **

 

Just knowing that Derek was being sincere made him feel lighter.  Knowing that he had someone he could really talk to if he needed to, someone that would understand, made the burden of it all feel slightly less crushing.

 

His smile was a little less fake that day.

 

***

Once he got home that afternoon he decided to give the man a call just because he could.  Again, Derek picked up after just a couple rings.

 

"Stiles?  Is everything okay?"

 

"Everything's fine.  Well, everything's the same, at least.  No better, no worse.  I was just hoping we could talk?  Not about anything important, just … "  He sighed.  "I'm tired of watching my words with everybody to make sure I don't slip up and say something weird."

 

Derek closed his laptop and leaned back in his chair, giving Stiles his complete attention.  "Weird?"

 

"Worrying.  Like to Scott or my dad.  Everyone just expects me to be okay, to be Stiles.  Happy, joking, sidekick, Stiles.  And why shouldn't I be?  Scott's perfectly fine after everything that went down.  Even Allison, before … she was okay.  I'm the only one who seems to have any lingering effects from being dead for over half a day."

 

"I thought you didn't want to talk about anything important?"

 

Stiles chuckled at the reminder and nodded, plopping down on the couch.  "You're right.  I don't.  So what's life like in … where the hell are you, again?"

 

Derek smiled at the way he could hear the tension leaving Stiles' voice.  "I'm in Argentina.  Just spending a few weeks with Cora.  I'll be back home soon."

 

Stiles ignored the relief he felt at knowing that Derek wouldn't be gone forever.  "That sounds cool.  I bet you've both got really nice tans."

 

"Stop imagining my sister in a bikini, Stiles."

 

He couldn't help but laugh at the fact that that hadn't even occurred to him until Derek mentioned it.  "No way, dude.  My brain, I control the content."

 

"Just for that, I'm not going to show you the pictures I took of us at the zoo last week."

 

Stiles gaped, his mouth literally falling open.  "Not fair!  I would actually pay to see pictures of Sourwolf and Sourwolf Jr looking like actual people having fun."

 

"Should have thought about that before you mentally ogled my baby sister."

 

Stiles grumbled and got up to find himself a snack.  "You're mean.  Maybe I should be talking to Cora instead."

 

"Do you have her number?"

 

He had to think about that for a moment as he rooted through the cabinets past the granola and raisins to the bag of cheetos he had stashed in the back.  "No.  I asked for it before she left, but she wouldn't give it to me.  We are friends on Facebook, though."  He grinned as he remembered that, taking his cheetos and a coke up to his room to log onto his account on his laptop.

 

"She keeps trying to get me to join Facebook but it just seems like a waste of time to me.  I don't know enough people to make it worthwhile."

 

"Aww, don't be like that.  I'll make you an account and show you how to use it when you get home.  In the meantime … Ha!"  He grinned triumphantly when he saw that Cora had indeed posted pictures from the zoo.  "Aww, Derek, the koala likes you."

 

Derek groaned and dropped his head back.  "I remember that picture.  It was taken right before the damn thing yanked out a handful of my hair and tried to eat it."

 

Stiles laughed and saved the picture to his computer.  "Because you're just so tasty, man."

 

"Of course."  He rolled his eyes, though he didn't try to hide his smile.  "That must be it."

 

Stiles smiled at the sarcasm and the fact that Derek was letting him tease him like this.  But it had always been easy to talk to Derek.  Even when he was angry with him, Derek understood his sense of humor.  And he had a dry humor of his own that Stiles was happy to see more of.

 

The conversation flowed seamlessly from one topic to the next and before he knew it Derek was yawning.  A quick google search told him that Argentina was only four hours ahead of California, so it wasn't insanely late there.

 

"Yawning already?  Is it past your bedtime, old man?"

 

"Shut up," he teased amiably, "It's late enough."

 

"Alright, alright.  I can take a hint.  Go get your beauty sleep.  But … thanks for staying on the line this long.  I know international calls aren't exactly cheap."

 

"Don't worry about it, Stiles.  Really."

 

He nodded and sighed softly.  "Thanks, man.  Night."

 

"Goodnight, Stiles."

 

Stiles hung up and stared at his phone for a moment, barely noticing the smile on his own face.  They hadn't talked about anything he couldn't talk to anyone else about, but it still felt easier just knowing he didn't have to choose every word so carefully.  He knew that if there was something he didn’t want to talk about, Derek wouldn't push it.  And after that call, he would definitely say they had moved from acquaintances to actual friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel kinda meh about this. Let me know if I should continue and/or if there's any particular direction you want to see it go.
> 
> Thanks for reading ^_^

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Sterek fic(let) ever, and the first fic I've written in years, so constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
